February 26th: Patrick J. Melvin Features

Stone Soup Poetry meets from 8-10 p.m. every Monday at the Out of The Blue Art Gallery (located on 106 Prospect Street in Cambridge) with an open mike sign-up at 7:30 p.m. On February 26th, we welcome local poet and open mike veteran Patrick J. Melvin, who has offered his bio note and sample poem as one and the same:


not much is known about pat,
who surfaced years ago
on the cambridge poetry scene.
here are the rumors.

pat's real name is alfredo fettuccine,

and he is the offspring
of w.c. fields and marlene dietrich.

at the age of seven
pat was toilet-trained by harry potter

one of his poems came in 1st place
in the nacy locke memorial novice award
issued by the poet's roundtable of arkansas.

the difference between pat and a bowl
of peas is that the peas are greener
and possess a higher IQ.

rumor has it that this
is pat's first feature.

he has never played eddie haskell
on "leave it to beaver"
or spoken the phrase,
"nice blouse, mrs. cleavage."

pat learned all his street sense
in the bowery over trashcan fires
with the likes of tom waits
dylan and big bird.

his poetry has appeared
in the haight ashbury literary journal,
mobius, calliope, the pinehurst journal,
social anarchism, as well as other
journals in the small press field.

pat has robbed more banks
than jesse james,
but jesse's knocked off more trains.

he is the unholy union of nostradamus
and quasimodo, the prophet
of big bang and mind-zero.

in 2000 pat's poem "enigma"
(about prison violence)
was considered for a pushcart prize
by the editors of halj.

pats uncle was charles bukowski -
twice removed.

when he's not composing
magnetic poetry, pat sells
girl scout cookies in central square.

he originally wrote the book-length poem
"the wasteland" and invented
the internet (not al gore),
texas holdem, and gloves
with no fingers

the only difference between pat and
salvador dali (other than the obvious)
is that pat is truly mad.

pat is the reincarnation
of the star-spangled guitar
used by hendrix at woodstock.

--patrick j. melvin