October 23rd: Joe Santos Features

Stone Soup Poetry meets from 8-10 p.m. every Monday at the Out of The Blue Art Gallery (located on 106 Prospect Street in Cambridge) with an open mike sign-up at 7:30 p.m. October 23rd marks the first feature of popular open mike poet and actor Joe Santos, aka Santossussio.

Whether dodging bullets in the movie Heat or precision driving on Bone Collector, Santosussio has done a number of things in an industry full of things to do, including going to San Diego to perform historical reenactments in Old Town as well as historic role playing as a Mexican bandito raiding Mormon camps in El Centro, CA.

From there, Santo went into stand-up in local clubs in and around San Diego and LA, where he met a writer for the Drew Carey show, allowing him to spend the next three T.V. seasons in a steady gig, as one of the local bar patrons drinking near beer all day, as well as doing feature parts as a stand-in and one line small parts in other productions around an industry town.

In NYC he performed in a few feature films, mostly driving as a precision driver and doing a bit part on Sopranos. With the New York City Opera in Lincoln Center, Santo performed an understudy role as a bumbling waiter in La Boheme as well as being part of the stuntmen team in Macbeth. He also claims the right to being the only actor to be hit on stage by a car in any production of New York City Opera. While working for New York State Theater he was a supernumerary for universal ballet’s production of La Bayadere.

Locally, he has performed with the Salem Theatre Company production in a principal role as Greg in A.R. Gurney’s Sylvia and a principal in a Delvena dinner theatre company production.
Currently, he’s writing a one-man show of Copley Square in Boston observations from a street corner and performing spoken word/poetry on a regular basis at the Cantab and Lizard lounge in Cambridge, Mass. He held his first poetry slam showcase for the “Copley School of Language” drama department in the Boston school system this past school year. Santo was featured on a panel of poets this past summer at the Massachusetts Maritime Academy.

He just finished taping a part as one of the slam poets for an episode of a children’s series on WGBH called “Fetch with ruff ruffman” on location at Club Passim in Cambridge. It will be airing early next year on PBS. Santo will be performing at the Niagra Bar in the East Village on October 26th. A sample poem follows.

Observation from a street corner named

Hey Reggie/ check this out hey young lady/ you dropped something/ yea your smile. Hey here comes Cagney/ and lacey/ or is that Kate and Allie/, nope it’s Laverne and Shirley/. Joey/ what can brown do for you? Overnight guaranteed delivery for two/.

How bout this one/ hey you have something/ on your back pocket/ yea right there/ oh yea/ it’s my eyeballs. say What/?!! I said is that an ipod/ you bipod/?

How bout this one/ did you hear about Mel Gibson/? his publicist/ is putting out a press release/ Mel say’s he’s sorry/ what he meant to say was, I’m not anti-Semitic publickly/, just privately/….. On a lighter brown Arab note of currency, the press release said he should play well in Arab countries/. Arab lawyers are already talking about suing him for intellectual properties/. Saying they hated the Jews first.

Hey Gary/, Tommy/.,… the broom just asked me/ when was the last time I had sex/….oh honey/ that’s like asking a lady/ her age or what comes next/, they won’t lie and you shouldn’t ask/.

Did you here about the Hezbollah splinter groups/ and off shoots/….yea there’s fezbollah/ for the guys with the turbines/, lezbollah a new women’s movement/, and there’s a new candy for the kids after the suicides/ pezbollah/

Hey Gary this is so gay/. Joey I’m gay/. Why does everyone have to interpret everything I say/?
Hey Gary/, Tommy/ thought I was gay/,.. What did you say/ no but I root for your team. Ya know what they say/ every guy is only a six pack away/ from being…. bisexual.

Remember that movie/ with mitt Romney/ as Pontius Pilate/ and woody/ Allen as Jesus fogediboutit/ “everything you wanted to know about Mormons but was afraid to ask/”. Are the nights of templar Jewish/, or are they a secret sect of Mason, Muslim, Druze, Agnostic, Mormons, I’ll bet they’re Danish/ try explaining the history of communism to mental patients/ The Guantanamo years of Jesus/

ya know all men are created equal, let me show you the poll figures Catholics and Jews are almost as low as Mormons when it comes to winning the presidency/ so it’s gonna be a tough hall for Romney/

Don’t forget When you go to the Dubai steamship port authority for that job application/

Make sure you check that you’re an islamaphob infidel in the land of the great Satan/. Praying to Dearborn, Michigan/.

Hey did you hear about Israel attacking the lesbinese/, hey I know Israel/ he’s working in San Diego/ please/.

Where you from brother?

I’m Sikh/ don’t freak/

You’re Sikh/ I’m sorry I hope you get better

No I don’t mean sick I’m Sikh.......

Yea I know you already told me that.... no Sikh Indian/ Ohh now you gotta bring race in the picture/ didn’t they give you guys gamblin’/…. No from Indonesia/ ohh now you gonna blame us for amnesia/. Hey what do you think about those new guinea’s in East Asia/.